you rip it out

you rip the heart right out of me

you speak of truth of honour of trust of loyalty

yet you know what you do

you hide all truth

yet i still believe you

you rip it out

you rip the heart right out of me

you bring about a change in the state of my mind

you toy with it, playfully

make everything create a darkened sense of me

once upon a time, you enlightened me

why now?

why me?

you talk more than you listen

chasing after me in my dreams, your mission

catching and watching, causing my suffering

as night leads in

to day

as daylight fades

away

You, you rip my heart right out you do

you think you’re ‘the one’

waiting for life to treat you right

yet you still talk more than you listen

wiping the shine from all that glistens

and how youth becomes you

i still love and miss you

wish i’d meant something more

feels like the riches of love have left me poor

now i age alone

as the sun spatters me with heat and light

while you spit on me from your greatest height

you, you ripped the heart out of me

and yet, in my solitary confinement

affairs of the heart and all that is meant

I am free

It’s 1987

It’s 1987 now and it’s happening all over again

just three years on from the last golden dawn

and it’s shifting the boundaries again

only different now

what i’m witnessing

no violence or threat, no disturbance yet

just shifting

space and time

i saw a last sunset in 2020

i think i just saw another

here we go again, head first into a new world order

will one day come

when they can control the sun

switch it off for the summer

lock us down over winter

what if we then caused a disturbance

ran out of houses, doors and crossed borders

but where would we run to if indeed the sun belongs to

them

is it us and them

it’s 1987 now, just three years on

and there’s nowhere to hide

in the Golden Dawn

the future itself is today re-born

Wiped Out

wiped out

off the hook

fortune telling

placing

orders

investing

guessing

she used to text

her victims

but the grieving

the alleged paying

all so busy

following

weddings, punch ups, boozy nights out

furious

was all they would tell us

emotions

of peace, politics and sexuality

religion, war, a fashionable society

fairytale celebrations

broken hearts from broken relationships

a cultural story

of power and people and space

waking thoughts

unusual and meaningful

familiar

not so now

wiped out

I missed YOU

I missed you before you were gone for good

i missed you before you were gone

we used to walk the streets to reflect our mood

we swore our souls were like one

you slipped easily into my heart

and hopefully i into yours

we held hands and sang and ran under stars

and on the very first night we ever met

you tied a silk cravat around my neck

we could have been an item and i remember thinking

how good we two souls could look

but again the old devil of the potent medicine

stepped in and from me it was you who he took

he gilded you easy

but you did stop briefly

to look back

and catch my eye

and then you were gone, the door shut, my cheeks burned

but i knew it wasn’t an end

just another beginning

because i didn’t watch you go

with a broken heart oh no,

well practised in the art

instead i loved you from a distance and decided not to show

my love for you ever again

but i loved every time i saw you and i know you felt the same

you’d always want to stay with me at least for a night and day

we’d hold hands and walk the streets

to reflect our moods and we’d seek

one more adventure

and remember,

i will always remember

that is what you said to me

the last night we shared together

c’mon I want one more adventure, with you

and now i know i missed you, before you were even gone

oh i’ll always know now that i missed you,

before you were gone for good

so i’ll sing underneath those stars we saw

and run free with you in my dreams

out of all the adventures and experience

missing you will bring the biggest, it seems

Easy to Get Along The Lane

it’s easy to get along the lane now

the cars parked there always, have gone

and my big ole vehicle which i could never drive down there

well i can now

while made to stay indoors, under threat of not just a virus

i stay indoors while on the road

i like driving my motorhome bus

one last adventure, you said to me, please one last adventure let us have

and all the while we both knew, one best adventure we’d had

so it’s easy to get along the lane now

and this has been the strangest of days

in my lifetime i don’t recall i’ve ever seen

the beauty of time held unprecedentedly

will i continue to see this, again and again and again?

for as i bear witness

i know i too must refrain

else, like y’all

we all do it again and again and again

but i like the fact it’s easy to get along the lane now

and as strange from beyond anyones’ grave

you moved me to my next adventure

can we do this over and over and over again?

Up To The

Wake Up To The Fear, Leave no trace of the lowest form of energy here

We are not given to be Suppressed you see

We are heart and we are Stars

There is nothing else that sets us apart

As fear does

Hear

See

Remember are you Up To The

Prophecy?

Pananswer

I am going to do to you, what you have done to me

Look, I am broken, this is what you have done to me

When I gave you solid ground, a foundation of plenty

You went in deep and took from me

Touched my sacredness without caring less

And now you look on in surprise as I breed hatred and selfishness

So look on and watch me now, see what you have done to me

I will throw your actions right back at you, see how you like it

See how you feel, feel how i have been for such a long time now

I don’t think you’ll be so ignorant of me anymore somehow

Because even though I’m broken, I still hold the ultimate power

I gave you light so you could see

I gave you grace with which to move free

I gave you dreams to behold and know

And all you’ve done from me is stole

You threw your fears at me, slapped me in my face

You waged your own war to make it commonplace

Look down your self-righteous nose at me, walk all over me,

Without the decency to take off your man made soles on me

Well now you’re all seeing

As I turn away from you

You’re going to wish you had believed in me

You will wish you had kept in touch, in realisation now

That I’d never asked much from you

You user of lies and deceit rather than the truth

Not just on me but on the self too

All that was needed was belief in my light

But you couldn’t, you wouldn’t because it didn’t suit your plight

So you went and blew it      out

Now look what you have done

Look at me, I am broken

So welcome to the darkside

This is where all fun stops

You and me, we are over

Here and now, this is where the bomb drops

Will I respect you?

No I don’t think so

I am going to do to you what you have done to me

I am going to walk away from you in your hour of need

See how you feel, feel what you did to me

The all seeing eye is seething all over thee

Happy New Corona

there’s going to be an epidemic,

where lots of us will get sick

says it all, how the mighty might fall

even the tough ones who once prevailed

will become ailed

the epidemic will strike through flight

death will become the norm

the epidemic into pandemic will form

i always knew this from when i was small

because somehow i knew that the puppet masters

who

puppet us all

are intrinsically rotten to the core

and no longer should any one of the puppet masters

have the right to abuse us and this planet anymore

this sickness is set to divide us and conquer

it will be an epic pandemic – the war of all wars

and rightly so

for Mother Nature Rules

we have her rage to behold

as this new world order unfolds

and she

she has the power to settle her score

she will take us all

if she has to

do not be frightened

embrace the enlightenment

happy new Corona (absolut)

written mid-january 2020 / updated today

this is a non-party unpolitical written excerpt

A-Z

When the Alpha man is in the room But Can i help myself, Despite everyone Else, Feels Good having Him around, I just Keep on loving the Meaning, Nothing comes close so i Open my heart and Promise the world no Questions asked, Repeatedly i Show That love can conquer, ‘Us’ is all that matters, Very little else comes close, We’re in this together, sign your name with a X across my heart, my world is here with You, now i must Zzzzz

Am I God

i’m a former shadow of myself

falling in and out of love

the substantial shopping for something

i can’t ever put my finger on

…

you and yours

a former glorious

a stage i’ve stolen

i’m just part of a system

that isn’t working

and that’s the worst thing

………

i have learned to forgive what i have done

where i have been

and this time around

i live beyond my shadows

this time around

i have come to accept i don’t fit in

a non-believer

of all the wallpapered sin

that lives and breeds

deep within

……..

show me#

the fact i don’t exist

show me the door

and i’ll exit
freedom is slavery

this is my everything

…as i move

my lips part

so to speak#

remind me then to shut my mouth

keep this all a secret

hmmmmmmmm

and

am i man

woman

or am i

God
….

answer please

c’mon God

you believe i’m worthy

should i continue to hold this secret

am i man

woman

or am i

God

……

my heart is crossed

my hands, face, feet

are stigma

…..

am I God

Licking The Earth

The most significant and seductive

Will become most futile and absurd

Under guises of success,

Praise and pleasure, ostentation and acquire

Self-gratification, cult-like desire

Will become Dust

Will become the footprint of the past

A blueprint of the reasons

Of watching humans licking at Earth’s seasons

Every changing social mirror, flight of fantasy, plight of society

Every change uncovered by friends of friends; enemies of families

The spotlight highlighting the fluctuating susceptibilities

The traits of dependancy

The behaviour of human falling over, down and out of favour

Life-support pillars mirror the attitudes of takers and givers

Differing degrees

Of we and our absurdities

The hate and the envy

The uninvited jealousy

Will become mental dust

An unwelcome fuss

Will become the footprint of the future past

The invisible blueprint

Of how one kicked at and licked at this beautiful Earth

Continuing the living through patterns all consuming

Accusations so volatile they bring about the awful, the improbable, the vile

Such situations

Blame it on another

Blame it on the user, the abuser, the psychologically stronger other

Blame it all on your partner

Will be it any more or any less impermanent?

The human born in collosal states of temporary paradoxical retrospect

Paranoia

Hidden forms of this all around, mission is : avoid it anyhow

You look at the self now, ask who’s looking after who now

Social worker, ‘mind going west for the best’ detector

Alternative Doctor, Psycho babble offerer

The 1% who run the propoganda coffer?

Best look for

Self

Become a survivor, a life preserver

You know you are worth more

For it will all become Dust

The footprints

The blueprints

The psychodellic experiments

The psychological file documents

Human will not last long

Watch the licking of the Earth as it comes undone